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9 Dumbest Things You Can Do At An Airport
I thought this was pretty interesting, can anyone think of the 10th?
9 Dumbest Things You Can Do At An Airport
By JAKE ANDERSON
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Everybody knows that about the dumbest thing you can do at an airport is to make jokes about having a bomb, or wave to your friend and yell, "Hi, Jack." But what are some other dumb things people do at airports? According to Hal Holmstead, a top airline security analyst, these are nine other stupid things people do, and that you should avoid:
1. Wear All Your Body Jewelry -- "Wearing nipple rings, navel studs, tongue studs and who knows what else is totally stupid," said Holmstead. "Especially the jewelry that's pinned to areas of your body underneath your clothes. Not only will it take you a half hour to get through the metal detector, but some passenger behind you is likely to attack you for making him miss his plane."
2. Try to Hitch A Ride -- Amazingly, some people go to airports and try to talk their way onto a plane, Holmstead said. "They tell the person at the ticket counter, 'Look, you have empty seats. What's the big deal about letting me on the plane for free?' Even if airlines were charities, which last time I looked, they weren't, there's no way they're going to give you a freebie in this post- 9/11 world."
3. Try to Book a Flight At the Counter -- "Some people mosey up to the counter when there's a long line and ask the ticket agent, 'Where's a nice place to go now?' and ask the agent for suggestions and a low fare, while all these other people are waiting to check in. I'm all for being spontaneous, but do your research on the Internet."
4. Impersonate a Pilot -- "After that movie Catch Me If You Can, with Leonardo DiCaprio, a whole bunch of guys thought they'd try to get on a plane by pretending to be the pilot," said Holmstead. "This is extremely dumb, because A) It's almost impossible to get on the plane,
If you do, and get caught, you can get 20 years in the pokey, and C) If you manage to fly the plane, you'll likely crash and die, and kill all the passengers on board. Not a good idea."
5. Ship Yourself As 'Luggage.' -- "Remember that guy a year ago or so who tried to ship himself cross-country as luggage?" Holmstead asked. "Not only was it incredibly uncomfortable, it actually cost more to fly this way than just to buy a seat. But for whatever reason, we find three people a week who travel this way."
6. Go to Airport Bars to Pick Up Women -- "Most of them are leaving town. They're not going to cancel their flight to go home with you, no matter how charming you are."
7. Dress in the Latest, Hip Fashion -- "Unless you like being frisked and interrogated for hours."
8. Open up an Airport Day- Care Center -- "Some travelers will leave you with their rugrats for weeks."
9. Fly for the "Airline Food -- "Incredibly, some travelers love those prefabricated trays of airline food and fly just to get those meals. You're literally paying hundreds of dollars for garbage, and you could eat in the best restaurants in the country if you spent that money in a good bistro instead."
10. (What's the 10th??? Why is there only 9?!)
9 Dumbest Things You Can Do At An Airport
By JAKE ANDERSON
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Everybody knows that about the dumbest thing you can do at an airport is to make jokes about having a bomb, or wave to your friend and yell, "Hi, Jack." But what are some other dumb things people do at airports? According to Hal Holmstead, a top airline security analyst, these are nine other stupid things people do, and that you should avoid:
1. Wear All Your Body Jewelry -- "Wearing nipple rings, navel studs, tongue studs and who knows what else is totally stupid," said Holmstead. "Especially the jewelry that's pinned to areas of your body underneath your clothes. Not only will it take you a half hour to get through the metal detector, but some passenger behind you is likely to attack you for making him miss his plane."
2. Try to Hitch A Ride -- Amazingly, some people go to airports and try to talk their way onto a plane, Holmstead said. "They tell the person at the ticket counter, 'Look, you have empty seats. What's the big deal about letting me on the plane for free?' Even if airlines were charities, which last time I looked, they weren't, there's no way they're going to give you a freebie in this post- 9/11 world."
3. Try to Book a Flight At the Counter -- "Some people mosey up to the counter when there's a long line and ask the ticket agent, 'Where's a nice place to go now?' and ask the agent for suggestions and a low fare, while all these other people are waiting to check in. I'm all for being spontaneous, but do your research on the Internet."
4. Impersonate a Pilot -- "After that movie Catch Me If You Can, with Leonardo DiCaprio, a whole bunch of guys thought they'd try to get on a plane by pretending to be the pilot," said Holmstead. "This is extremely dumb, because A) It's almost impossible to get on the plane,
If you do, and get caught, you can get 20 years in the pokey, and C) If you manage to fly the plane, you'll likely crash and die, and kill all the passengers on board. Not a good idea." 5. Ship Yourself As 'Luggage.' -- "Remember that guy a year ago or so who tried to ship himself cross-country as luggage?" Holmstead asked. "Not only was it incredibly uncomfortable, it actually cost more to fly this way than just to buy a seat. But for whatever reason, we find three people a week who travel this way."
6. Go to Airport Bars to Pick Up Women -- "Most of them are leaving town. They're not going to cancel their flight to go home with you, no matter how charming you are."
7. Dress in the Latest, Hip Fashion -- "Unless you like being frisked and interrogated for hours."
8. Open up an Airport Day- Care Center -- "Some travelers will leave you with their rugrats for weeks."
9. Fly for the "Airline Food -- "Incredibly, some travelers love those prefabricated trays of airline food and fly just to get those meals. You're literally paying hundreds of dollars for garbage, and you could eat in the best restaurants in the country if you spent that money in a good bistro instead."
10. (What's the 10th??? Why is there only 9?!)
Comments
I had to fly a ton for business in January, and I always made it a point to wear Converse, which you can wear through the metal detector without trouble. And after an entire month of flying and never having to take them off, someone finally asked me to do so. Instead of just freaking doing it like a normal person, I decided to be stubborn, and agreed to let them swab them for explosives instead. And the damned machine went off! So then of course I had to take them off anyway, and I had to get all patted down, and they took my ID & boarding pass and filled out some form that probably put me on a TSA watchlist for the rest of my life.
So yeah. That was really stupid. Don't do that.
FLIP FLIPS
I had to fly a ton for business in January, and I always made it a point to wear Converse, which you can wear through the metal detector without trouble. And after an entire month of flying and never having to take them off, someone finally asked me to do so. Instead of just freaking doing it like a normal person, I decided to be stubborn, and agreed to let them swab them for explosives instead. And the damned machine went off! So then of course I had to take them off anyway, and I had to get all patted down, and they took my ID & boarding pass and filled out some form that probably put me on a TSA watchlist for the rest of my life.
So yeah. That was really stupid. Don't do that.
Also, if you don't have your id or your id expired, not good. You get to feel ultra special being the absolute last person to get on the plane with a special "spread eagle" type head to toe pat down removing your belt, shoes, etc. right before you get on the plane. Uber fantastico let me tell u..and people just stare?!...
The only problem with flips is if you're sitting at the window seat, your feet will be a block of ICE by the time you get to your destination! So really, it's a toss-up... cold feet or prancing through the metal detector in your socks like a My Little Pony. I say take flip flops and some nice WARM socks for the plane.