In this Discussion
- Goosey January 2005
- minia January 2005
- QueenofthePosers January 2005
- The End Has No Jen January 2005
- Thomas January 2005
- unknown January 2005
- ventage January 2005
- WeMadeShirts January 2005
advice???
what do i dooooooooooooooooooooooooooo???
dont ask me whats wrong, just tell me. i am so confused. i cant even tell you. i hate life. and i hate decisions. and i wish i would like, die and go to heaven and be done with it all.
and oh yeah, i wish God loved me. because apparently, he doesnt. and He makes me cry for hours. for fun.
dont ask me whats wrong, just tell me. i am so confused. i cant even tell you. i hate life. and i hate decisions. and i wish i would like, die and go to heaven and be done with it all.
and oh yeah, i wish God loved me. because apparently, he doesnt. and He makes me cry for hours. for fun.
Comments
it'll make everything better for a while. really. i'm not kiding.
i am having doubts about marrying sheraz. for a number of reasons, and i dont wnatto make the biggest mistake of my life. and i dont even know if not marrying will be the biggest mistake in my life or if marrying him will be the biggest mistake in my life.
teh most important thing to me in the WORLD is religion. when i like a guy, i like his islam first, and him second. I always thought when i find the guy im going to marry, im going to fall in love with his islam and then him. I want a guy that loves God so much that it makes me love him. Thats how its worked in the past. twice.
I believe the relationship I have with God is the most intimate relationship ever. The second most intimate relationship ill ever have is with my husband. Do you know that in Islam, sex is considered a form of "ibadat" (ibadat=worship) And that when a husband and wife say kind words to eachother, thats also ibadat. When a man feeds his wife--even if its only one morself of food--- thats ibadat. To love your husband/wife is a form of ibadat. If a man is angry at his wife for something and he keeps his temper in control and doesnt raise his voice...and speaks in a loving way to his wife, that is like, MAJOR ibadat, and its as if he asked for all his sins to be forgiven and God forgives him.
Marriage is the most beautiful thing in Islam, and its so hard for me to seperate the two. I want a guy that SEES this. I wnat a guy that understands how beautiful marriage is. I want a guy that will base our marriage on Islam and a guy that will love me because I love islam and because I love God. Because thats how I want to love him. I dont wnat to love my husband in a worldy way, I want to lovemy husband iwth my heart and soul...and I want to love my husband in a spiritual way. I want to pray with him...and go to the mosque with him...and i want to raise our children together as practicing muslims.
Basically, I want a partner in Islam, rather than just a partner in life. From what i can tell, Sheraz is not all that religious. My first question when someone brings a proposal is if he says his prayers(all 5, on a daily basis) Sheraz does not. My mom is telling me that I can make him and when he sees me practicing, he wil do the same also.
i dont wnat to MAKE anyone anything. I want him to have it in him alreday so that I can fall in love with him. I can't love someone that doesnt love Islam/God
He's coming over this week and I'm going to try ad talk to him and see how I feel after we talk. But for now....I'm just SO CONFUSED/ do i listen to my mom? she says in thsi ay and age, im not goign to find any 20-something year old guy that fulfills my rleigious/spiritual requirements. i know plenty though!
wow, thats soooo...HELPFUL. THANK YOU!!!!
thats awesome. an di never htought about that.
but...i guess confusion can last forever
this is a subject that i have aboslutely no authority in
all i can say is...follow your heart. you have the best judgement ever, and i think that if you do what you feel is right, then its perfect
ive been depressed lately as well. i dont know. i just wish i was pretty.
this is a subject that i have aboslutely no authority in
all i can say is...follow your heart. you have the best judgement ever, and i think that if you do what you feel is right, then its perfect
ive been depressed lately as well. i dont know. i just wish i was pretty.
dude!!! WHAT are you talking about?!?!?
you are SO pretty!!!! don't ever feel bad about yourself. it shows through. and when youre not believing youre beautiful, why would anyone else? so the minute you start thinking you dont look good, it becomes true. and the minute you start thinking youre gorgeous, it becomes true.
whatever you believe about yourself is reality. for example, people that blv they are losers will NEVER suceed, no matter how much they have going for them. but someone who thinks hes hot shit has a pretty good chance of getting where he wants to go, even if he doesnt have all that much going for him.
so same goes for looks. paris hilton looks like an alien. but she thinks shes hot, so she is. i think shes gorgeous! but seriously...if she started realizing she looks like an alien, her confidence would go away. and nobody would find her hot anymore...everyone would think she looks like an alien! so if osmeone like paris that looks liek an alien can look so hot, TRUST ME, a girl like you--that has absolutely NO flaws---can look gorgeous to the world! as logn as she believes it herself!
i have an entire entry about this shit on my xanga and livejournal.
www.xanga.com/smoke_and_mirrors
www.livejournal.com/users/e_motion_sick
" think that people only get attention when they want it...really badly. and that's how ALL of the girls (except for like, 5) in our school are. all of the girls in our school play up their problems (like talking about how horrible their lives are, even though everyone else's are worse, but they don't flaunt it) or how all of the girls constantly kiss and cuddle other people even if they don't like them just because it's "cute" of them. or...i don't know. things that constantly piss me off"
sara, a friend of mine said somethign to me today. he is amazing and smart and knows so much about everything that it makes me wnat to hit him. he is everything i wnat to be..he's just like..wow. for example, people will ask him what nationality he is and he'll say "my parents are pakistani. i am human" he sees everyone as humans. hes the most non-judgemental, living in reality, amazing person ever. anyway, so this is what went on today:
i wa stalking about something making me angry or osmething and he said that is liek when people say "MY PARENTS piss me off" or "THIS PERSON made me annoyed" and hes like "thats not true. you pissed yourself off. your parents didnt piss you off. they didnt do anything. they said something and then YOU got pissed off" so in short, dont ALLOW things to make you into something you dont want to be. there is this negative part of you that is pissing the rest ofyou off. it ha snothing to do with any of those girls, or anyone in your school for that matter. it has to do with sara.
anyway, that part of your entry reminded me of my conversation with him today and I thought Id share. I hope it makes sense to you.
and ps-paris hilton believes shes pretty when shes not. in relaity, she looks like a cross between her dog and something youd find on mars. but she believes shes pretty. and i believe it. and the world believes it.
well, afterwards i have that entire paragraph about whether it pisses me off or if im just jealous
i think its a little of both
anyway
i checked all of the charts
i should weight between 125 and 130
so...i guess im going to start jogging again
Anyway Amina, the way I see it, you're still young, I know in your culture you're probably like, ripe for the picking, but from my point of view, you don't need to be in a hurry to get married. Who knows, you could still marry Sheraz and be making the right choice, but who says you have to choose now or loose your chance? Maybe he would be willing to talk to you about your religious concerns, and maybe you'd find out something about him you didn't know that makes marrying him more favorable. But I would say don't jump into it if you're having doubts about something so important to you. I mean you're probabaly never gonna find a guy that's everything you want to a T. But it sounds like this is something that is absolutely fundamental to everything about your life so you would probably be hurting yourself by like ignoring it. If Sheraz is good in other ways but not in this is he still going measure up when you put him next to a guy that understands this subject the way you do but may not be as strong in the areas Sheraz is strong in? It's like... what's more important to you?
But confusion probably is forever. It seems like the older I get the more complicated life gets, and there never seems to be one clear decision that is better than the rest, and that's sooo hard to deal with. But you know, sometimes you have to take a chance one way or the other and hope for the best, because there's some things you can never know for sure until you try them. Like, you could not marry Sheraz and then never meet someone who fulfills the qualities you're looking for. Or you could marry Sheraz and then all of a sudden meet someone who is everything you wanted. There's just no way of knowing, probably not helpful but it's the truth. But it's like don't beat yourself up about not knowing and being unsure, because you're never going to be sure, and it's like you just have to accept that uncertainty somehow. That's how i've thought about situations like that anyway...
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED?!!!
and yeah..in my culture, i best eb geting atleast engaged some time this year. but my family isn't like that, really. I mean, we believe in fate A LOTTT and that marriage is in fate an dyou will get married at the exact TIME you are supposed to. Like, my cousin in 28 and still not engaged even, and in my opinion, it just isnt meant to be yet. That doesnt mean theres something wrong iwth her. i can believe it with other people, but its harder when it comes to myself. I'm more hard on myself about my age then anyone else. My family is like "dont marry him just because you think you have to because of your age...youre only 21!" but i have this thing...this stupid immature thing about how humza is geting married this year and im not even ENGAGED yet! and how maybe he's geting some sort of satisfaction in thinking the only guy that would give me the time of day is him, and afte him, i couldnt get anyone else. and so YEAH i know thats not true. but i want HIM to know its not true. and he cant know its not true until i show him i got osmeone better than him! immature. stupid. everything. i know.
if i had only ONE issue...life owuld STILL be easier!!! but i am like...oh god.
religion makes everything so complicated. i don't remember the last time i went to church. i guess i miss it. its hard because i still believe 90% of the things i was brought up to believe in. but theres just some things that the more and more i think about it dont make sense. and it makes me question everythhing when both my dad and my mum who have been religious pretty much since the day i was born are both really ill. my dad got assaulted at work and subsequently can never work again. and i can't understand why God would treat his people in such a way. i know that everything happens for a greater reason, and i guess the reason my dad is the way he is could be because my mum's gonna get loots worse and be like confined to her bed or something. and there;s another thing. my mum has MS. i just can't understand why they managed to draw the short straw.
oh yeah, and ryan isn't religious. my mum and dad would go MENTAL if they knew we were together haha.
you've probably thought it over and over already, but you just have to do what you feel strongest about. you're a very beautiful person and you could probably get any man you want.... and there are religious people out there, you just gotta find them.
you are SO pretty!!!! don't ever feel bad about yourself. it shows through. and when youre not believing youre beautiful, why would anyone else? so the minute you start thinking you dont look good, it becomes true. and the minute you start thinking youre gorgeous, it becomes true.
whatever you believe about yourself is reality. for example, people that blv they are losers will NEVER suceed, no matter how much they have going for them. but someone who thinks hes hot shit has a pretty good chance of getting where he wants to go, even if he doesnt have all that much going for him.
so same goes for looks. paris hilton looks like an alien. but she thinks shes hot, so she is. i think shes gorgeous! but seriously...if she started realizing she looks like an alien, her confidence would go away. and nobody would find her hot anymore...everyone would think she looks like an alien! so if osmeone like paris that looks liek an alien can look so hot, TRUST ME, a girl like you--that has absolutely NO flaws---can look gorgeous to the world! as logn as she believes it herself!
That is so VERY true. The same sorta thing goes for guys too, if you're constantly moping because no guys like you, then no guys will, I mean my friend, she's absolutely beautiful, but she's got this idea that she NEEDS a guy, which totally isn't true, but she always finds a guy to lust after, and it never works out, because they don't like her back, or they're just twats or whatever, but I have friends who aren't half as pretty as her, but seem to get whatever guy they want, and it's because they're confident with the way they are and stuff without a guy. Like, last year I was all teenager-y, always moping about how I wanted a boyfriend, and since september I got this new attitude that I was going to concentrate on school work more, because I didn't need a guy to be happy, and they weren't the most important things on earth, and then suddenly a whole bunch of them come out of nowhere saying they like me and it's like ahhh! where the hell did you some from?! So basically as soon as you decide you don't need a guy, you get a whole bunch. Yeah, because that's logical. But life is weird like that!
sorry for the rambling!
sorry for the rambling!
That doesn't happen to my friends and I. We don't mope about not having boyfriends, but none of us even have prospects.
not that i TOTALLY agree with this, but this woman seems to know what she's doing: my moms friend has a 26 year old daughter and a 21 yr old son. she has never told he rhusband she loves him. this man is 9128349278 times better looking than his wife and even after 30 years of marriage, he follows her around liek a puppy. he acts like a young guy in his courting stage of the relationship because well, as far as he is concerned, he is still courting her. she loves him. she's had his kids! but he still doesnt know he's got her, so he ocntinues to do special things and be romantic in an attempt to win her over. ok, now this man has a PhD and im SURE he is not a moron--i think he realizes to some degree that obviously she's been around for 30 years, shes not going naywhere NOW! but i think its just this weird male ego thing...she doesnt give him too much attention. shes so like..she has her own life. shes a good wife. she cooks for him and takes care of him and everything! but she doesnt let her life revolve around him. and she CERTAINLY does notttt let him know in WORDS how she feels. he's constantly guessing. sometimes, i feel really bad for him! but then i see women that are SO BEAUTIFUL with these NOT AT ALL GOODLOOKING guys and just because the woman gave the guy too much attentions and made him feel special, the guy thinks that maybe he IS that great...maybe he oculd do better than her even! which is such bullshit. but seriously, i think guys cant handle being treated well. they go crazy. it may be wrong to play weird mind games like my moms friend, but from what i have seen in married couples, shes the happiest wife.
my friends are like, perfect in every single way
and no one seems to notice!!
its so weird because like, i have one friend named shazeeda, and everyone always confuses her with some other girl, but everyone thinks the other girl is a total hottie. if they think shes a total hottie, but they dont like shazeeda, how do they always get them confused?! i think its because this other girl CONSTANTLY fawns over everyone. it might be different outside of high school, but boys LOVE attention.
then again...i live in jersey. jersey boys like jersey girls. and thats bad.
i suck at my own stuff though. go figure.