In this Discussion
- Astra November 2011
- BeckiWitte November 2011
- daisychains October 2011
- DJRose November 2011
- glamour_and_sedition November 2011
- NinjaCat November 2011
- sherib November 2011
- silver12 October 2011
- violetchaos364 October 2011
Open Letter Thread
Sometimes it feels good to say things sarcastically in a letter. For example:
Dear Sarah McLachlan,
I will rob a bank and give everything to the ASPCA if you would PLEASE make your super sad commercials go away.
kthnxbai
See, fun and gets a tiny rant off your chest. Give it a whirl!
Dear Sarah McLachlan,
I will rob a bank and give everything to the ASPCA if you would PLEASE make your super sad commercials go away.
kthnxbai
See, fun and gets a tiny rant off your chest. Give it a whirl!
Comments
Dear Cat,
If you're going to make me get up off my ass to open the door for you, please come in. Don't be a tease. It's bad enough that you try to trip me while racing me to the front door when you want to be let out. Seriously.
He does it every time... grrr...
Haha.
You seem to have copied Damians haircut. I'm not mad, because Damian rocks it a little harder than you do. You still get an A for effort.
Ben's been rocking that hair since Damian was in College. Probably beforehand. They are both pretty badass and it's not a competition. :-)
Love,
An old lady.
Get to f-ing bed already like you told me you would.
Love,
Me
Stop thinking that I'm ignoring you if I accidently leave my phone upstairs for a day. I'm not.
Sincerely, a truly annoyed friend
I'm not asking you to become shorter because I know that's a little bit physically impossible. All I'm asking is that you please, please, please hunch down every once in a while so I can see what's being shown at the front of the classroom.
Sincerely,
That Short Girl Behind You
I have another one...
Dear Couples That Make-Out in Public,
Just... just stop it. Please. I will hand you money out of my pocket to stop frenching in public. And please don't stop in the middle of a hallway or the stairs to do it. You're going to make me late for class and I don't want to have to explain that to my professor...
Love, Girl That Was Almost Late For Class
win.
Please make a scratch n'sniff panel on your labels so my cat can smell the flavors prior to opening. This way I can avoid wasting three cans until my precious decides what she wants to eat.
Sincerely,
Owner of an entitled cat.
and
Dear Precious Kitty,
Please stop chewing my bedroom furniture from 5-7a.m. trying to get breakfast. Or 2nd breakfast because you didn't like the first one. I WANT TO SLEEP! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO STARVE! OK!?! My paper Ikea lamp is ruined with your teeth marks :( I love you, I really do, but one of these days I'm going to buy a spray bottle...
Love,
Your humble servant
I am deeply sorry that my evil kitties apparently learned to use the computer or phone to contact your Precious Kitty and give her tips on receiving an early breakfast. I knew they were up to something, I just had no idea that they were trying to expand their wicked empire.
Sincerely,
Someone who has to go to bed earlier than normal just to get a decent nights sleep
Obviously you have forgotten your place in the scheme of things. First off, we cats could not care less for your sleeping needs. Second anything that is in the building where we reside is ours, not yours. This includes you Serotonin so get with the program, minion! Humans were made to serve cats, never to rule over us!!!! Bwa Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scratch and sniff cans are a good idea.
Nocturne, Goddess of the Night (AKA) Spitty Kitty.
You suck.
Ferrets
Aaaaaaaaaand we have a winner
Hear hear!
Sheri, I think I love you
We are not friends or family, so I don't understand why you schedule a yearly visit with me. You are causing me to miss class when finals are fast approaching. You have long overstayed your welcome.
Sincerely,
A Girl W/ Too Much To Do...But Can't Right Now