In this Discussion
- 3personmoshpit May 2005
- CrssEyedNSmilin May 2005
- Goosey May 2005
- RiverSylphide May 2005
- setsumi May 2005
- Thomas May 2005
- WeMadeShirts May 2005
today sucks
a LOT.
ok first of all...as is aid in saras thread, i find out tht the guy i have been dying over the past month may alreday have someone...the words used were "im 99% sure" and while yes, there is a 1% chance this person is wrong, there is a 99% chance he is right. blah.
ok and thennn...so i decided to wear niqaab. niqaab=face veil. u know...ninja suit. i want to do it, it makes me happy. so i put it on this morning, an dmy parents wont let me leave the house with it.
WHAT.
THE.
HELL.
they said if i want to wear it, its good and theyre proud of me, but for me to wear it to manhattan is just putting myself in danger and its unislamic for me to put myself in danger for something that isnt even required. THEY say its not required, I say it is.
So today, since I wasnt allowed to wear niqaab, i didnt wear makeup. just eye kohl. no eyeshadow. no lipgloss. nothing. i figured that niqaab only becomes a requirement in islam if youre wearing makeup because makeup is an adornment and youre not supposed to show your adornment to non-mahram(not frm immediate family or husband or usbands father or a guy significantly younger than you or a young boy that hasnt recahed puberty)
im walking back from tmobile to school an dthis guy FOLLOWS me like, 5 blocks to school and the WHOLE time hes like "i wish i were an arab, i sweart tto god if i were an arab i would marry you. youre so beautiful. if i married you, id spend so much money on you. if i married you, i owuldnt even make you wear that(referring ot my hijab) i'd let you wear whatever youw anted" and THAT made me so mad i turned around and im like "excuse me, this IS what i want" and then i kept wlaking and then hes like "well if thats what youw nat, then you could do it...i swear to god if i married u..." and so on...
im so maddddddddd. how can my parents STOP me from wanting to save myself from DISGUSTING guys on the street. you can either physically rape a person or you can mentally rape a person. neither is acceptable to me. how can they not support that?!?!?!?!?!?!
they said i can wear it on long island but not manhattan cause its dangerous cause of 9-11. whateverrrrr
im so annoyed
ok first of all...as is aid in saras thread, i find out tht the guy i have been dying over the past month may alreday have someone...the words used were "im 99% sure" and while yes, there is a 1% chance this person is wrong, there is a 99% chance he is right. blah.
ok and thennn...so i decided to wear niqaab. niqaab=face veil. u know...ninja suit. i want to do it, it makes me happy. so i put it on this morning, an dmy parents wont let me leave the house with it.
WHAT.
THE.
HELL.
they said if i want to wear it, its good and theyre proud of me, but for me to wear it to manhattan is just putting myself in danger and its unislamic for me to put myself in danger for something that isnt even required. THEY say its not required, I say it is.
So today, since I wasnt allowed to wear niqaab, i didnt wear makeup. just eye kohl. no eyeshadow. no lipgloss. nothing. i figured that niqaab only becomes a requirement in islam if youre wearing makeup because makeup is an adornment and youre not supposed to show your adornment to non-mahram(not frm immediate family or husband or usbands father or a guy significantly younger than you or a young boy that hasnt recahed puberty)
im walking back from tmobile to school an dthis guy FOLLOWS me like, 5 blocks to school and the WHOLE time hes like "i wish i were an arab, i sweart tto god if i were an arab i would marry you. youre so beautiful. if i married you, id spend so much money on you. if i married you, i owuldnt even make you wear that(referring ot my hijab) i'd let you wear whatever youw anted" and THAT made me so mad i turned around and im like "excuse me, this IS what i want" and then i kept wlaking and then hes like "well if thats what youw nat, then you could do it...i swear to god if i married u..." and so on...
im so maddddddddd. how can my parents STOP me from wanting to save myself from DISGUSTING guys on the street. you can either physically rape a person or you can mentally rape a person. neither is acceptable to me. how can they not support that?!?!?!?!?!?!
they said i can wear it on long island but not manhattan cause its dangerous cause of 9-11. whateverrrrr
im so annoyed
Comments
Myths, misconceptions &
blatant ignorance about Hijab: A Dialogue
What is hijab? That thing on your head?
Well, that’s called a scarf, but a lot of people do call it a hijab. Hijab means modesty, and hijab is the clothes you wear and a way of speaking and behaving in public.
So you never, ever take that off, right? Not even at home?
No, of course not. It’s been welded to my head using a state-of the art grafting system. I even shower with it!
People who ask that question are silly. The hijab is worn only in front of non-immediate-family member males, whether they be outside, at school, at home, or in the shower.
Can you hear what I am saying?
Huh? I can’t hear you, I have my scarf tucked into my ears.
If I can answer, then I can hear. Yes I hear you. The scarf goes over your ears, not in them. Sometimes I tuck my scarf behind my ears, even if it does make me look like dumbo…
Do you stop wearing that off when you get married?
No, a married woman’s beauty is private property (not the husband’s property, hers) as much as a non-married woman’s. The Hijab isn’t worn out of obedience to men, it’s worn out of modesty and obedience to God.
Are you already called for?
Yes. When I was born my father traded me for three goats and a chicken that gives sour milk.
Ok, Not really. Getting ‘called for’ early on is not the most recommendable practice in the world. First off- you choose who you marry. Your parents can suggest people, but forcing you is completely non-Islamic. The whole idea with Muslim girls being passed off as goods the moment they are marriageable is a bit of an ignorant stereotype. Although it may happen in some cultures, it is not part of Muslim belief, which clearly states that a woman can only be married according to her choice and free will.
Have you been forced to wear that?
Not anymore than I am forced to put pants on before I walk out the door. Without a hijab, I consider myself naked, well, head-naked is the appropriate term.
Does wearing a scarf mean you’ll go to heaven?
I don’t know about myself personally, since only God can judge, but as a practice, no. Wearing a scarf does not guarantee a fun after life any more than wearing a cross or a yarmulke. Looking religious is only part of the deal. You can’t just look pious, you have to be pious.
Why hide your hair and beauty? God gave them to you, so why be ashamed?
I am not hiding, I am protecting. You don’t desire what you can’t see…hint hint. About being ashamed, I am not ashamed. I have enough respect for myself to keep my dignity. I have no intention of turning myself into a walking sex-symbol. Now that’s shameful.
So wait, the whole purpose is to make yourself ugly?
I am not ugly!
Are too.
Shuddap! Ugly are the women with fake faces and clothes they need poured into. They represent the degrading of women all over the world. Even business women wear short skirts. You can’t even be successful unless you’re half nekkid! Women go along with this, and that is what’s ugly.
Hijab does not make you ugly! It focuses on your inner beauty, and there is no visual standard that you could possibly come up with. Hijab represents the dignity and strength that come with being a good Muslim woman, not ugliness. The most beautiful Muslim women don’t need make-up, they have Noor.
So if the Muslim God said women have to cover their hair, how come not all Muslims do?
Does every Christian go to church? Do all Jews eat Kosher? Does every Hindu stay vegetarian?
I’m glad I’m Christian. I don’t have to cover my hair.
Oh yeah? Read 1 Corinthains 11:3-10. The bible calls covering the head a mark of respect.
What color is your hair?
What color are my eyebrows?
Why can’t you just tell me what color your hair is?
That would ruin the whole purpose of wearing the scarf. That’d be like wearing a loose shirt and then telling everybody your waist and hip measurements.
So, what are your waist and hip measurements?
How would you like your remains displayed?
So, what are you doing on Saturday night?
Kicking your butt.
Sometimes parents are too anxious about their daughters and I know it's annoying, however, put your nigaab or hijab in the drawer. Unfortunately, it looks like there're lots of crazy people on the street.
Sal, thanks. It's a good text to read.
and yeah, id liek to ass that CULTURES opress, not religions. when someone asks me abt hijab and modesty i tell them this:
if you have a stack of 100s in one pocket and a quarter in the other, which one will you be more discrete about? which one will you try and ocnceal behind your jacket? is it because you think the stack of 100s is worthless and needs to be hidden or becaus eyou know the stack of 100s is valuable and precious to you and you want to save it from harm?
also, if covering is such opression, then why is the virgin mary ALWAYS shown covered? why are nuns covered? thats kind of like when i wa sin highs chool and this person looked at me in horror and said "pre-marital sex is a sin in your religion?!?!?!?!" this person was a christian. i was like "umm...its a sin in yours as well." we are ALL "people of teh book" and its scary to me when ppl that dont even know whats in THEIR OWN religion walk around passing judgement on another religion and how it treats women. people can be so ignorant.
and even though it will be a boring wedding, its definitely the best place to be a tourist!!!
and amina, dont let it bother you so much. parents are always going to put your safety first.
and there will ALWAYS be assholes like that in the world. unfortunately. girls have to deal with a bajillion of them in their lifetime.
today, some creepy dude followed me to the bathroom in the bowling alley.
tell me THAT isnt terrible. sigh. i dont think things will ever change.
Life's not dumb. Men are dumb. Except Shahrukh, of course.
and as for women being objects...this is why i blv women need to change that. i think we do it to ourselves. I mean...i think we objectify ourselves and then get angry when men further that objectification. Yes, men do suck. You cant blame a woman when she gets raped. YOu cannn blame a woman however, when on a saturday night, she takes out her sexiest outfit to go clubbing so that she can pick up a guy. What is that woman saying? She's saying ike em for my body, not my mind. And shes saying that because if she wanted the guy to like her for her mind and not her body, she would place emphasis on her mind and not her body. SO then when a guy uses her for her body she starts crying about what a bastard he is. It doesnt make using a woman for sex right. But think of the man as teh consumer: he can only buy what you are selling him. If youre selling him the body, thats all he knows to buy.
I spent my whole life saying I get dressed up for my OWN happyness not to attract men. Then one day I realized that if I'm REALLLLY doing it for myself and not to attract men, it shouldnt make a difference to me if a man can see it or not. If I'm doing it fo rmyself, I am the only one who needs to SEE it! And here it is...a proven fact.....I dress up even MORE under my abayah(overgarment) I still wear matching earings under my hijab, and now that I am wearing niqaab(part time haha) I still have just as much makeup on underneath. and i am JUST AS HAPPY WITH IT. I know its there...I'm doing it for me...and I am satisfied.
There are a few exceptions, but for the most part, when a man looks at me, I see respect. This is like having your cake and eating it too. I get dressed up and do everything I want to do, but then I dont have to worry about being an object. I am a human and everyone treats me and speaks to me and looks at me like I am a human. Its wonderful.
Note to all who have not gone to yet or are starting college. DO NOT STAY IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP ALL THRU COLLEGE! I thought Id prove the myth wrong, but yeah... Live it up. They all get cold feet the last semester and cave in to some emo guy or another, thinking it will allow them a chance to explore their options, thereby freeing them from a big ball of doubt forever. Greedy bastards.
If your a lady... dont play a man like that! You know your gonna jump ship! Leo died in the end, not that biotch floating on the wood. It always works that way. Spare a guys heart and just date around.
Wow, Julie. It's amazing how we're best friends when we're soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo different.
You're glass is half empty and mine is half full. Pagalpaan, yaar!
The slow-est way to die-ie-ie!!!"
If you have not yet heard this song, I suggest you go listen to it now. It is called "Life, It Sucks" (surprise, surprise) by Graham Coxon. It rocks so hard. I'm not angry or upset by any means whatsoever, but man, do I love this song.
Wonderful. I admire your attitude toward dressing up, amina.
The slow-est way to die-ie-ie!!!"
haha, it sounds like very Graham Coxon.
And, Don't make Julie pessimistic
You're glass is half empty and mine is half full. Pagalpaan, yaar!
Hey i'm just trying to be sympathetic. Don't take what I write on boards too seriously! My glass is not half empty or half full, it's in between. I understand that there's bad in the world, but I also understand there's some really worthwhile, good things too. That's why i'm still alive today.
That's not from just your board messages. It's from knowing you for 8 years. That's just the way you are. It's no big deal. It's just that nowadays when I try to be sympathetic I don't look at the negative side of things and complain about them. I like to tell people of the great things waiting for them in the future and stuff. But whatever. Opposites attract, no?
Well maybe you're just that way around me so that's why I think that.
Man, you know I love you to bits.