In this Discussion
- Aleatory October 2010
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- ChristelAdina November 2010
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- hensocks November 2010
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- Sunnyside January 2010
- sureeyesawake August 2007
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- target35ghost May 2008
- Tempe Arizona February 2015
- thephantommilk October 2008
- violetchaos364 November 2010
- walk2sock August 2007
Comments
Alright! Picture it! Mini-Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Jorge, Whom I Adore, Whom I Adore, Whom I Adore, Whom I Adore with a quill pen, crafting the following tale by the fireside....(lol, maybe?)
"Twas a few weeks before Christmas
and all through the house
Tiny Tim was stiring
some tea and enjoying some chocolate mouse, er, mousse.
When all of the sudden who should appear?
But Runty Rusty with a slight sneer.
"What is wrong?" Tiny Tim did inquire to ask.
"Well, it's almost Christmas, and finding Damian's gift is quite the task."
Meanwhile, but what do Tiny Tim's eyes should see?
…Wait, he has to go pee.
He went to a closet then came back to the room,
He found an old Pixies album and some perfume.
Diminutive Dan overheard the dilemma, having an idea so bright
He’d take the perfume and regift for Little Damian’s delight.
Sure, Little Damian would smell like a girl
But hey, it would make anything Runty Rusty give look like a pearl.
Tiny Tim decided as a gift the Pixies album was ideal.
Runty Rusty needed to think, and so an apple he did peel.
It was then that his frustration turn into a smile.
There would be no need to hunt down the shopping isle.
Runty Rusty decided to build a robot as a gift.
This present would give Little Damian's song writing quite a lift.
For this robot could shoot out any musical sound Little Damian could ever be wanting
Rocking rifts, big bouncy beats, or beautiful melodies so haunting
Yes indeed, Little Damian would love this Yule tiding,
Which would send big person and her ears into hiding."
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(BTW, If someone could make the lines rhyme or fit better, let me know. I think I'm going crazy because of the snow-----Gah! Tempe can't stop rhyming now!)
I love how even at christmas, the teenies still find a way to bug Big Person.
And I second the pee part being totally amazing.
That is awesome. Haha I was like cracking up and smiling the whole Time!
I can imagine much much more lol.
also: I've just hung around some of the biggest asshole Phoenix drivers I've ever encountered. When I got home I drank quite a bit of wine to numb the thought of Phoenix drivers.
"Today, I'm taking part in an event at a local elementary school. Some of my classmates and a teacher will be giving out presents to the children at the school. We all get to wear nifty Santa hats too. My friend even let me borrow his big car to stash all the gifts in. Excited, I snatched up my Santa hat and purse and dashed out the door. I didn't even think to check on the Teenys and make sure they weren't up to no good.
When I arrived at the school, I checked my hair in the rearview mirror and stuffed the Santa Hat on my head. "Ouch!" I said aloud. Something inside the hat smacked my head. I pulled off the hat, to find Diminutive Dan in his pajamas holding onto my head.
"That hurt," he said trying to smile pleasantly.
"What were you doing inside my Santa hat?" I asked him.
"Well, yesterday when I was trying to get to sleep, it started to feel cold inside my big soup can house. So I wandered outside and found that cosy Santa hat. I didn't think you'd be in such a hurry to grab it this morning while I was still sleeping inside!"
Something about the way Diminutive Dan talks is so sweet, you can't be mad at him. Sometimes, it seems to be the exact opposite of Little Damian's attitude. They can both be compelling, but one just does it in a sweeter way. Now the problem was, there was no time now to turn around and take Diminutive Dan home.
"I really have to get these gifts inside the school. Do you think you can wait here in the car for a little while while my friends and I deliver these packages?"
"Aww, you mean I have to wait inside the car?" he huffed.
"I'm sorry. There's just no time to go back home with you."
"Can't I just stash out in your purse?"
"Alright, if you promise to stay out of sight."
My friends and teacher approached the car and helped me unload a large black bag full of gifts into a metal push cart. We headed to the gym to play Santa's helpers. Things went well. The kids loved the gifts. Our teacher looked mighty proud of herself for having come up with the idea for all of us to play Santa's helpers. Actually, I remember it was one of my friends who originally came up with this idea. The teacher didn't even like the idea of all of us going to the school with gifts. At first, she wouldn't even give us credit in our Community Service class for doing it. She didn't think the idea was good enough. Now, I got sort of angry as I watched her gloat to the prinicipal of the school. My friend stood aside smiling shyly, but never bothered to speak up the principal that the idea was originally hers. My attention was focused away from the teacher though as a little girl came over to me and tugged at my sleeve. "Miss?" she said to me.
"Hi! What's up?"
"Thank you for the dollies."
"Ah, you got the Barbie doll then?"
"Yeah, and the silly Ken doll."
"Ken doll? I don't remember there being a Ken doll."
"I think he's broken though. He talks, but I can't get him to stop."
"Huh?"
She held up the box, and opened the lid. I saw a Barbie doll inside in it's original packaging. Then suddenly, Little Damian popped out, like a Jack in the Box. "Phew, am I glad to see you," he told me. "That's the last time I try to check out what you're trying to hide inside mysterious black sacks."
My eyes widened in alarm. "Uh, little girl," I said to the kid, "Is it alright if I keep that Ken doll. He wasn't supposed to be given away. He, er...?"
"I belong to her sister," Little Damian told the little girl, trying to help me with an excuse.
"No! I want to keep him!"
"But he got wrapped up by mistake," I said. "My sister will be upset if she doesn't have her dolly back." The little girl turned and ran off with her Barbie and Little Damian. I tried to follow her, but tripped over a pile of opened boxes and wrapping paper. Diminutive Dan wiggled out of my purse and stood by my ear. "Has Damian got himself in trouble again?" he asked me.
"How did he get here?" I asked.
"Well, for awhile, after you went to bed, we were playing with that big bag of gifts you had out."
"Does that mean, the other Teenys are here too?" I asked Diminutive Dan.
"Nah, Tim and Andy shouldn't be here. I remember them saying they wanted to watch that 'Christmas Story' marathon on tv."
"Ugh, I'm falling and I can't get up," I moaned. Suddenly, a remote control toy car wizzed past me. On top of it, sat Runty Rusty, cheering like some sort of cowboy. "You were saying?" I asked Diminutive Dan.
"Oh, wll, I guess Andy's here too then. But Tim's probably at home watching tv. He does that every year. He becomes Lord Boss of Couch Potato."
"You'd better stay with me," I told Diminutive Dan. "Hanging around all these kids could get dangerous."
I didn't know what to do first, find the girl who was holding Little Damian hostage, or find Runty Rusty on the remote control car.
I fumbled past kids and classmates. I checked around corners, and in the next door classroom. No signs of Little Damian or Runty Rusty. I started to check under table clothes. Finally I found a Teeny!...Except, it was a Teeny I was assured had not come to this event. Tiny Tim was under a table cloth with a group of kids teaching them the dreidel game. I reached out, grabbed Tiny Tim and stuffed him in my purse.
"Hey!" the kids whined. "We wanna play more with your clay doll!"
"My clay doll?"
"Yeah, the one you just took from us!"
"Who told you he was made of clay?"
"He did! He told us he came to life to play dreidel with us!"
"Um, well, he has to go now. That's all!"
"That is all for now!" Tiny Tim shouted from inside my purse.
Suddenly, I heard a scream. It was my teacher's scream. Hearing a teacher scream, even when it's a jerky teacher, is never a good thing. A group of my classmates came over to her. "I saw a mouse!--Well, I think it was a mouse! I didn't get a good look at it, but it talked!"
"Mice can't talk," one of my guy classmates groaned.
"I think she's been hitting the sauce," Runty Rusy said to me. I looked down and saw him crawling up into my purse. I dashed into the hallway, scooching Runty Rusty into my purse. "I really didn't like the way she was talking about your classmate," Runty Rusty said. "You said you're friend put together this project. She wasn't giving your friend any credit. So when she went over for some punch, I told her off."
I started to feel rather sick. Then, realizing Little Damian was still nowhere to be found, I felt a little sicker.
Diminutive Dan explained to Tiny Tim and Runty Rusty about the situation with the little girl who thought Little Damian was her new Ken doll. "Damn," Tiny Tim said. "Damian is smooth. Even when they're still little, he gets the girls."
"Not funny," I said. "We're could he be?"
"Look!" Diminutive Dan said. I turned to find the little girl in the hallway. She was styling Little Damian's hair and coloring his face with magic markers. All the while, he begged her to let him go. She wouldn't listen. She kept bossing Little Damian around. She told him to go get her crayons, some yarn, and some glue. He tried to escape, but then she'd start yelling at him. I approached her. I dumped my purse in the corner nearby and distracted her so that Little Damian could make his escape. "Have you ever heard a story..." I began.
"What story?" she asked.
"The story of a little girl who..." I watched out of the corner of my eye as Little Damian fumbled his way into my purse. The Teenys hoisted him inside and they hid low.
"Uh, you know what?" I told her. "I forgot the story, nevermind." I picked up my bag and headed back for the gym. The teacher was there apologizing profusely to my friend and letting everyone there know that this whole gift giving thing was her idea. I said goodbye to my friends and headed out the door before the little girl should notice Little Damian was missing and come looking for me.
Thus, my classmates got school credit, my friend got her credit for coming up with the project, and I went home to take a long long nap!"
"Hey!" the kids whined. "We wanna play more with your clay doll!"
"My clay doll?"
"Yeah, the one you just took from us!"
"Who told you he was made of clay?"
"He did! He told us he came to life to play dreidel with us!"
"Um, well, he has to go now. That's all!"
"That is all for now!" Tiny Tim shouted from inside my purse.
"Damn," Tiny Tim said. "Damian is smooth. Even when they're still little, he gets the girls."
Haha this is the best story EVER!
Aww Tiny Tim Damian doesn't get ALL the girls lol.
1) The description of Dan's sweetness. ooo, isn't he just the sweetest guy in the world?! You convey that soooo perfectly, Tempe!
2) "That is all for now!" Tiny Tim shouted from inside my purse.
AHAHAHAHAHA! You had me in stitches!!!! Best audioblog reference ever. I could just hear him saying it!
3) Damian as Ken. I cannot tell you how awesome that is. And man- that he wouldn't stop talking, that he was broken? You rock beyond rock, Tempe.
Tempe, I feel like you really do have OK Go living in your pantry, the way you describe them so beautifully well.
1) The description of Dan's sweetness. ooo, isn't he just the sweetest guy in the world?! You convey that soooo perfectly, Tempe!
2) "That is all for now!" Tiny Tim shouted from inside my purse.
AHAHAHAHAHA! You had me in stitches!!!! Best audioblog reference ever. I could just hear him saying it!
3) Damian as Ken. I cannot tell you how awesome that is. And man- that he wouldn't stop talking, that he was broken? You rock beyond rock, Tempe.
Tempe, I feel like you really do have OK Go living in your pantry, the way you describe them so beautifully well.
Who else but Tim could convince a group kids that he's made of clay? Little reference for the Jewish boardies. "Oh dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay." Ok, that's it. I want a Gumbi Tim and a Ken Doll Damian
The Teenys are described so easily because all you guys describe Ok Go so well. I just use what you guys give me
I'm hysterical, thank you so much!
I'm dying here!
Haha, now you know what I did for Christmas!
haha, is this creepy?
and is this even creepier?