In this Discussion
- cork5flat May 2005
- CUgalde March 2005
- doodle noodle April 2005
- editor19work June 2005
- Goosey April 2005
- GuddyShap June 2005
- hill4summer May 2005
- LJMPT May 2005
- minia March 2005
- QueenofthePosers May 2005
- RejectedSponge June 2005
- setsumi March 2005
- TDrennan March 2005
- Thomas June 2005
- ventage March 2005
- vinyl_days March 2005
- WeMadeShirts April 2005
Comments
for people like amina and stuff
you know how when people ask you what you want to do when youre older and all that stuff? well i always tell them truth about me...i want to go to school, and i want to be a chemist of some sort...and i want to be married before i'm 25 and save myself for marriage and have kids when i'm young.
is it just me...or is the ONLY reaction you get when you say stuff like that "what a waste!" it's very sad...it's just that i know what i want...and i'd like to start a family young...but everyone..including my mom, lol thinks that its a horrible idea and i would be wasting my time, life and brains if i did something like that.
they act like its the worst thing in the world that a young girl just wants to settle down...i dont know. i guess it is old fashioned, but i dont think theres anything wrong with that.
dude that sucks. i dont know why peopl would react like that. I, personally, feel like I want to do it all. I wnat to be married before I'm 25, I want to be odne with all my kids by the time I'm 32(and i wan atleast 8...i plan on adopting as well as having my own naturally) but then I also want to be a successful woman. I want to be a SUCCESSFUL HUMAN----i want to be productive all around. I think its sad that poeple believe that you can only be a good wife or a successful career woman. you can do it all. who says you cant? True, it is harder to balance a home with a career. But that is on willpower. When some tells you its a "waste" tell them yOU think(if u do think this haha) its a "waste" to spend your life slaving away at a job when at the end of the day, you dont have a home and a family and the love of osmething that grew INSIDE YOUR BODY to return to. Tellt hem youd ont want to live half your life, you want to live all of it. All of it includes building a family AS WELL as building a career. tell them you have more intelligence than those that can only concentrate on one thing(ie. a career or a family) an dthat you dont need to choose. that is what i would tell them, anyway
and people getting married young an dthen getting divorced ha snothing to do with their age, rather it has to do with their choice and teh process they went about chosing a spouse. My moms sister was married at 15---shes 45 now and her husband sings the barney song to her "i love u..u love mee"(imagine this with a paki accent. hysterical) They did not have an arranged marriage. They fell in love and got married and they are still happy and even more in love, despite having SO MUCH pressure on their marriage(they couldnt have kids. this causes a lot of resentment) Making your marriage work ha snothing to do with age, and everything to do with wisdom. You cant play games...u have to say what you feel. I see this ALL the time. mind games dude. mind games will guarantee a divorce before you are even married. Games like "if he calls you 3 times, call him back once"
dude...i have done this...and i av learned. why would you want toTRICK someone into marrying you and staying with you? If he cant handle you being honest about how much you care for him...and if knowing how much you REALLY care about him will turn him off, ims orry, but he can go to hell. Thats why so many marriages fail. women will play hard to get...they will do things like "dont be available all the time" when they REALLY DO want to be iwth the guy all the time....and yes, playing hard to get will get a guy hooked, because guys by nature love a challenge. but let me tell you something, once youre married, how will you play hard to get? hes alreday got you! and he knows it! young couples may get divorced mroe often becaus eyoung women have the impression(as i did) that you have to play hard to get. they will play games and get the guy hooked, but when you look at what she had to do its like, she had to manipulate him into being with her. You cant manipulate forever. And onc ethe manipulation stops(ie marriage) the guy realizes he didnt really want to be iwth you....the only reason he got there is because you were challenging him. and then what happens? divorce.
divorce is a result of stupidy, not a result of age.
I agree to an extent, but I think that stupidity has to do with age sometimes. Like my mom was 17 when she got married, and my dad was 27, and it was arranged (in paki) but the problem is I don't think my mom has every fully grown out of the mindset of a 17 year old, I mean she obviously has she's almost 50, and her kids are all brilliant (with the exception of one, me) and grew up to be perfectly well-adjusted adults, but the issue is she doesn't know the meaning of compromise or giving in, and I think that's a result of being married so young. She's so incredibly stubborn, just like I am, but I am 17, and shes 50.... and I think that is almost 99% of the reason for my parents' divorce. It wasn't necessary at all, and you may all think that I'm being stupid and I'm like in denial abouti t being necessary, but my mom admits that she wouldnt have gotten one now that she looks back. but obviously theres nothing to do about it now ... well there oculd be but whatever that's a different story and i'm not getting into it, but my point is that age does sometimes have something to do with it, it depends on each individual situation.
ill start with my crush thing first!!
my boy...paul. has completely forgotten about me, and i don't even think he ever liked me.
secondly
i think i saw the love of my life at a wind ensemble competition in verona the other day. he was the first chair sax player from milburn. he was very handsome. but that doesnt even matter. even an ugly dude who can play sax like that would have me in a minute. too bad i didnt talk to him and i dont even know his name. *shrugs*
thirdly
i don't even know about all of this balancing stuff!! it takes a ridiculously great person to be able to do all of the things that i dream of doing...and i dont want to sound like an ass, but im just not good enough for it. i dont deserve a great job because im still a total retard and i get the worst grades ever. i dont even know if i deserve a great family because im a little neurotic. oh well. id still be a good wife and mom. id still be an ok career woman. i just dont think i can do both.
and thats not fair. because i want it all. i just need a better brain.
fourthly
divorce...sigh. divorce is so lame. i hate it. i hate everything it is and everything it does, but i guess sometimes its just necessary. i guess it just scares me to know that things can end all of sudden, you know? if i ever got married, id be so scared hed leave in a second because hed be allowed to divorce me. haha thats so horrible sounding!!
But yeah I think age has a lot to do with divorce sometimes too. Because you just don't know as much when you're younger. You still have so much to learn. And people might think they know plenty and that they'll never change and will always be the same person, but they usually don't, and it's hard to stay with the same person when you or they or both of you are no longer the same people or not in the same place you were when you got together.
divorce deals more with maturity than it does with age
BUT...the thing is age and maturity go hand in hand. just in the natural way, and thats just how it is.
so you really just have to have a good head on your shoulders. you have to be really good at knowing what kind of people ...people are!! and you have to be willing to compromise.
*shrugs* its all a growth kinda thing. people somehow made marriages last lifetimes when they saw each other for the first time on their honeymoons.
i dont know why its so difficult for everyone now!! youd think wed have it easier.
i know i felt all bad for 2 weeks, i thought was too ugly for him for or something. but eventually (after everyone and their mother told me) it was his lost not mine. so i felt better, the funny think is the last time i went to get coffee, i ignored him and made no convo w/him. besides he always looked confused, when i talked about what bands are my fav. like i was an alien. ok sorry the bands i talk about aren't to your liking (okgo and the pixies). meh its in the past
and never mind
i still like paul
he tried to talk to me today
lol our conversation:
him: is this the fbla meeting?
me: no its the sgo meeting
him: oh yeah, thats what i meant to say
LOL...and i was all smiley
I don't think people who get married young always screwed and get divorced, but sometimes young passion causes wrong decision.
i don't even know about all of this balancing stuff!! it takes a ridiculously great person to be able to do all of the things that i dream of doing...and i dont want to sound like an ass, but im just not good enough for it. i dont deserve a great job because im still a total retard and i get the worst grades ever. i dont even know if i deserve a great family because im a little neurotic. oh well. id still be a good wife and mom. id still be an ok career woman. i just dont think i can do both.
and thats not fair. because i want it all. i just need a better brain.
Aww, please don't say that, darlin. Grades don't matter. You just need strong will and effort to be what you want to be. Don't give up unless you try. You're so young and you will be able to get it all. Ah, being young means you have tons of possibilities!!
Ouch, don't be cruel to me. I'm old but still stupid and immature, aaaand I've never been married and I have no kids. Oh, don't you think marriage might bring people maturity?
And, harrah for all the smart girls like Julie, Amina, Sai.
Hey Julie, I've been thinking that there must be a smart and sweet guy who deserves to be your boyfriend. If I were a man I'd fall in love with you right away. Boys are silly anyway.
...Having a crush thing is lovely. I haven't had that feeling for years tho. haha.
And about marriage bringing maturity. I can kinda see that, because you can learn a whole lot from having relationships with other people. Interesting point.
And yeah, having crushes is nice. Even though they can be kinda frustrating, they're fun and harmless in the end (at least mine are, lol).
so the kid im "crushing" on just got a girlfriend. and me being the good friend, listens to him talk about her alllll the timeeeeeee.
grades have nothing to do with managing to do it all...trust me. its ambition. i had a hard time in high school because i was going through the whole humza thing---i never even went to school! i used to sit home and cry! the fact that i was going through an awful awful breakup and it distracted em from school didnt doom my future. i graduated iwth a 1.8 gpa!!! your grades cant be worse than that! and despite my 1.8 gpa, so far so good....what i have dreamed of since i was a little girl is exactly where i am. and, god willing, what i dream fo being 10 years from now will be exactly what i am 10 yrs from now.
i used to feel the same way(i have so much i want to do its not possible i can manage it all) but come on now!!!! think about what human will power can do!!!! if people can PHYSICALLY MOVE objecst from concentratiing on it hard enough, tell me you cant manage a career and a house????
The things I want to do: mother of atleast 8-10 children(adopted and natural), three fashion lines: one islamic and one the likes of gucci haha. and also, id like to have a lesser priced brand that would sell at like, macys. i want have my own lingerie company----it will sell in its own store(like victorias secret) im thinking i want this to be in pakistan. I want to start my own makeup company---if its with amina, it would be called A squared, and every item would come in twos. Except one side would be ME colors and the other owuld be AMINA colors. If its not with Amina, it will be Save Venice. OR MineralEyce and it would be all eye makeup made of natural ingredients. I also want to memorize the Quran(this is time consuming haha. if you do it and nothing else for 12 hours a day, it will take 2-3 years.) I want to be an aalima(islamic scholar) I want to go to grad school for two things: masters in fashion merchandising so that i can be a buyer for a dept store(starting salary=110k. imagine the dior in THAT haha) and i also want a masters in islamic studies.
the only one thing i am willing to let go of in that is my own fashion line ocmparable to gucci---and only because as i am getting more and more into design, i see that i dont like that as much. id much rather do lingerie and design for forever21 or contempo than have my own line.
in any case....i told u all this as an example: one of those things i listed is enough to keep you busy as hell---but that doesnt mean i dont think i can do it. maybe after i have kids, maybe my priorities will change and i wont want to do EVERYTHING, but you cant START out doubting yourself. if you dont believe in youreself, why would anybody else?
haha ok. </end motivational rant>
and setsumi...mind over matter!! you think young, so therefore you are young
yeah...i dont know. its not even just like, i dont know if i can balance stuff, i just dont know if its humanly possible with time and space and just general stuff like that...
ehhh sorry
There was this kid in my science class, and he was really quiet, seemed really nice and all...you couldn't even imagine how excited I got when I saw him. I smiled like crazy because he said "480" when we were calculating gradients. I smiled at him a couple of times, but never said anything. Then one day, he got switched out of my class. :'( It was all very sad. I agree with the whole girls get attached or have crushes more easily than guys. But still, having a crush is fun. Having butterflies in your stomach just because you see a guy in the hall is always nice.
And the whole marriage thing, I think it all depends on experience. On age too, since if you're still only 17-18, you may realize that there are more things you want to do in life than be married.
Ahem. Yeeeah.